Adorable illustrations by Heng Swee Lim, aka I Love Doodle.
At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So, you can waste your life, drawing lines, Or, you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines… that are way too dangerous to cross. But here’s what I know. If you’re willing to take the chance…the view from the other side is spectacular.
So it’s only the second week of school, but I can already mope about how overwhelming it is. I somewhat didn’t expect such a rooftop pile of assignments, essays, and etc.; okay, I was expecting it too. Because my stress-tolerant, well I wouldn’t say, is high, I already feel like screaming and ripping my hair out. Jeeeez right? With everything stacking up on each other continuously, it’s like I’m just standing in a black hole pondering on where to even get started. At the same time, I’m keeping my goal in mind. Definitely the stress constructed doubts and self-criticism on my abilities. I know that all this craziness could have been avoided if I just stuck with the major I intended since entering college. BUT NOPE. I definitely wasn’t enjoying my major core classes (even though I aced them all *insert cockiness here*), and the more I scavenged around for an internship in that field, the more dreadful it feels to picture myself doing that particular job. Just browsing and reading the job descriptions bored the shizzz out of me. Like c’mon, “Where do you see yourself in ten years?” “Uh, not here!” Yep. Just knowing and answering that question already took me one step forward. But now, the next step. Some may seem to be surprised about my current career choice, but really, I have this in the back of my mind for probably… five or six years now? But due to hesitation and constant excuses I gave myself, I never had the courage to work towards it. It’s time to stop avoiding. It’s one of those “You’ll never know ‘til you try” kinda thing. So that’s exactly what I’m doing right now. If I run into walls, then so be it. I’ll just knock that damn wall down. Time to be assertive. This process will feel very long and tedious (it’s almost like starting over, but not totally), and I’m already feeling it now. It really sucks to sacrifice certain things, but I believe it will worth it at the end. Getting back to the doubts, I have been constantly wondering if I made the right choice. Constantly accusing myself for future penalties if things don’t work out. Constantly debating with myself trying to find a firm ground to stand on. But this just added more stress onto my sweet little brain. Great.
So that’s a little intro to what I really want to talk about. I pretty much thought things aren’t exactly turning out the way I want it to be, even though I didn’t expect them to too. But it’ll be nice right? That was until I got an email tonight, acceptance to my career change program! SAY WHAT? WHOOT. Hands on opportunities! KACHING!! (Well, on a side note, I hope the scheduling works out. Eeeek) But definitely, upon receiving this email, I was reassured of my goals, my path seemed to straighten out a little more, anxiety and worries just instantly vanished when I was able to envision my goal again. It was, no, it IS the greatest damn feeling ever. So excited that I can’t even focus on my homework right now. (Yeah, Carmen is doing her hw on a Friday night.. who does that right?)
Gotta say though, goodbye social life. We’ll meet again in spring break.
"wow! who taught you to do your makeup like that?"
"wow! who taught you how to make that?"
"wow! who taught you-"
why do you know so much about sex
why are you so calm about porn
why do you hate people so much
why don’t you ever hang out with anyone from your school
what do you mean you hate this genera—
How social networks ruin lives
Always trying my best to think under a positive light these past two months, but the light can only be lit up for so long before it starts to dim. Hang in there
"Everybody is clever, just in their own ways" - Matt Groening