conceal, don’t feel
having a distraction is nice, but it only strays you from the problem temporarily. reality always bounce back, and what is there left to do? nothing.
Because I can be happier, and I deserve to be happy.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been kinda complaining to my friend how the professor still hasn’t graded our papers especially since they were due during spring break! That’s been awhile! I just want to know what I received on it to determine my current grade standing and if I would need to do any additional work to pass. I signed onto the class website again today to check, there was still an empty grade next to the assignment, but there was also an announcement titled “personal message.” Intrigued by the title, I clicked into it. It was a personal message my professor wrote to the class explaining why things have been progressing a bit slow for him lately. His brother’s been battling with cancer the past few months after being diagnosed in February. Sadly, his life just ended recently. Feeling the guilt of complaining for not receiving an updated grade and feeling the kick of sympathy right in my chest, made me tear up a bit. You really don’t know what people go through when you only interact with them through an external filter. During a phone convo with my friend last night, he was telling me how a brother in Christ talked about losing both of his parents within the last six months due to cancer. Such a tough battle internally and externally. This kinda all ties back to the recent worship topic at church too. Life really is fragile. It can offer limitless opportunities, but it can seize all of your chances at once too. Time is what we try to seek for when life is about to draw its conclusion, but here we are spending time on social networks and slugging around. I, myself, isn’t proud of this either. As I am getting older, I see a lot of Facebook updates or Instagram posts about grieving individuals trying to cope with their lost ones. I’m not trying to boast here, but I am thankful that no one in my life has left yet. It felt like a close call in early December when something similar could have happened, but I am truly grateful that the worst didn’t happen. Through these situations, I’ve learned to appreciate everyone around me more. To show the love and care I have for the people around me. Although they might be too busy to notice it, but I still do it regardless because I don’t want any “it’s too late” type of moments. Never forget what your smile and encouragement can mean to others. Keeping loving. Keep striving.